Right up until he passed away, Dr John Hinwood was a prolific blogger (an award-winning blogger in fact!). John’s blog’s shared musing from a rich history of experience, learnings, travel and wisdom.
The Hinwood Institute is named in honour of Dr John and to continue his legacy, we’re republishing his blogs to keep his wisdom, wit and wise words alive for the world to enjoy.
You can learn more about the legacy of Dr John Hinwood HERE.
Developing emotional resilience is a key to having the capacity to handle stress in any form and at any time in your life. Channeling stress into a positive energy can radically improve your performance and creativity, making you brighter and quicker. This is crucial in the short and the long term to build strong, lasting relationships with those around you, while managing your own stress in a healthy manner.
Here are five key habits that are identifiable with a person who has developed strong emotional resilience.
1. They Can Deal with Communication Problems in a Calm Way
When they are having communication problems with people, whether it’s their spouse, partner, family members, colleagues or strangers, they stay calm and remain patient. They have developed tools and strategies to cope with the frustration. This is a sure sign of emotional resilience.
Their ability to listen to, and act on messages from their ‘gut brain’, that relies on intuitive feelings, is a key resilience strategy. Calmly being able to redirect or reframe the approach of their message when it clearly isn’t getting across displays their emotional resilience.
2. They Know Asking for Help is a Strength Not a Weakness
Asking for help increases resilience. While many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness, it’s just a mindset of insecurity and self judgement. The person who possesses emotional resilience knows that they accept their own strengths and limitations. They understand that while having self-confidence, they realise that they don’t necessarily know everything there is to know and aren’t afraid to admit this. Asking for help decreases the secretion of cortisol and increases the secretion of ‘happy hormones’, which in turn decreases the person’s level of distress.
3. They Can Discuss Conflict Clearly and Objectively
Arguments can bring out the worst in people and bring up difficult emotions. It can cause feelings of frustration, feeling like you’re not being understood and goes against our need to be accepted and always right.
People who are emotionally resilient can explain a conflict in a clear and objective way. They have self-awareness of their own emotions, they can self-manage these emotions, be empathetic towards where other people are coming from in their argument and be good at handling the others’ emotions too.
4. They Can Deal with Negative Feedback in a Positive Way
Receiving negative feedback can bring out our insecurities. Emotionally resilient people can deal with it self-confidently without getting defensive.
Focusing on the facts and keeping a level head allows their emotions to stay in check. They can ‘hack their brain’ to see criticism as growth rather than damage to their self-worth. This means that emotionally resilient people don’t experience negative emotions such as frustration when hearing criticism, and they can process them quickly and climb out of their own perspective to meet someone else’s.
5. A Job Worth Doing, is Worth Doing Lousy!
Self-confidence is key when it comes to dealing with stress. Emotionally resilient people know that getting into the ‘river of life’ and having a go, even if they feel they are not ready to perform a task yet, is another key to harness their stress and use it in a supportive way.
Having this self-confidence and knowing that ‘a job worth doing, is worth doing lousy’ is how emotionally resilient people deal with failure, as they see them as, learning experiences. They realise that assessing stressful situations in an objective way without harsh self-judgement allows them to move from stress to strength.
In the End…
Learning more about our emotional responses to stressful situations and those of others, can support us to be sharper and wiser and stay calm when stressors become roadblocks in our lives. Being more stable in our thoughts and perspectives can get us through hard situations and build more lasting relationships with others and ourselves.
P.S. If you’d like to know how likely your stress will lead to ill health, you may try our Stress Test below.
How well do you roll with the punches?
How it works:
- Answer 25 simple questions
- Generate results instantly
- Receive feedback to enhance your score
Listen to the Podcast here
About the Author
Dr. John Hinwood is a Global Leader in Stress Management. He is a very experienced and respected executive coach, mentor, consultant, sought after international speaker and author. He specialises in facilitation that leads clients out of the stress and into the calm. He has a reputation for innovative and transformational work in stress-life balance and mindset change for front line employees, to managers and business leaders.
Dr John Hinwood has shared the stage with Dr John Demartini, Dr Deepak Chopra, Dr Wayne Dyer, Dr Joe Dispenzia, Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul fame), Dr Bruce Lipton, Dr Masaru Emoto and others who are at the cutting edge of human behaviour and mindset change.
He has written 14 books with 4 being Amazon international best sellers. He has had papers published in academic journals and was once Captain/Coach of the Danish National Rugby Team. Dr. John’s experience as a health professional by training, successful businessman by effort and an inspiration by inclination has given him an awesome array of practical tools for success.