A couple of days ago I was talking with one of our former outstanding coaches and mentors Craig about how some people can become so stressed with their interaction with another person, they just ‘freeze’, and are unable to take any action at all.

Craig said, “John, remember the Tony Robbins adage of the two Ps.”

My mind immediately shifted to hearing Tony saying on stage, “In the end, it comes down to the two Ps, it is your choice between pain or pleasure.”

Craig said, “correct John, however, with stress, it’s the other two Ps Tony talks about…”

When you are stressed, you can change the outcome by changing either your Perception or Procedure.

You can use how you feel to make your life better.  While negative emotions may be painful for some, they may also be our best friend.   We can use negative emotions to change the quality of our life immediately, or as Tony Robbins says, “in a heartbeat”.

There is a message in every emotion we experience. Appreciating the message is a key in how we handle stress in our lives. Negative emotions are usually a signal that change is needed.

We always have choice… you can either change your perception or change your approach.

At any moment when you feel any negative emotion, the first step is to identify what the stressor is. The next step after you have identified the stressor, is to act by either by changing your perception or changing your procedure.  You change your perception by changing how you look at it or what you focus on.  You change your procedure by changing your approach or how you are responding in the situation.

Tony Robbins says there are 10 areas of emotions and your stressor or stressors will be in one or more of these areas:

1. Uncomfortable – Impatient, uneasy, distressed, mildly embarrassed.
2. Fear – Concern, apprehension, scared, terrified.
3. Hurt –  Sense of loss.
4. Anger – mildly irritated, resentful, livid, rage.
5. Frustration – held back or hindered in the pursuit of something.
6. Disappointment – sad, defeated.
7. Guilt – emotions or regret.
8. Inadequacy – less than or unworthy.
9. Overloaded – overwhelmed, hopeless, or depressed.
10. Loneliness – apart or separate from.

Your de-stress response is to create a positive strategy and take a positive action step here instead of being controlled by the negative emotion(s). That action is to either change our perception or change our behaviour.

A great example here is a story my wife Judy shares with participants in the Build Emotional Resilience Training two-day event we run four times a year.

After 18 years of marriage and being childless we decided to have a chosen family and as we were too old to adopt in Australia at that time, being 39 and 40. We went to Chile and adopted three very special beautiful older children who were 7, 8 and 10.

Judy went from being full time in practice as a chiropractor and many weekends on the road around the country lecturing practitioners, to a 100% home mum with children who had no English. It was a massive gradient and full of stressors for all of us.

My life was still full on in practice, weekends away lecturing and attending other seminars.

When I would arrive home on a Sunday evening Judy was usually very stressed and resentful of the wonderful time I had had with friends and the seminar attendees while she was at home.

She met a Three in One Concepts practitioner who introduced her to the Behavioral Barometer.

Judy then understood that by changing her attitude on my arrival home from being resentful to being interested, her life instantly changed. Her stressor changed ‘in a heartbeat’ to a positive life enhancing experience.

I’d arrive home, we would hug and then sit and have some ‘couch time’ sharing the special experiences of my weekend away. Her being was showered in eustress and she felt totally part of those two days I was sharing.

By changing your procedure, you change your perception and your emotions support your life and health, instead of harming them. Life is then a joy!