You’re Not Special Just Because You’re Busy

What if your full calendar is just smoke and mirrors? 

There’s a strange thing happening in modern workplaces, kitchens, boardrooms, inboxes and even in our inner dialogue: we’ve started treating busyness like it’s a badge of honour. As if rushing around is the same as doing something worthwhile. As if piling on the hours makes you more valuable, more moral, more… you. 

Well, it doesn’t. 

We’ve confused movement with meaning. And in doing so, we’ve built a culture where being constantly on is quietly applauded, even when it’s quietly eroding our health, relationships and sanity. 

Let’s break that down. 

• Busyness has become a social signal, not just a schedule. 

• People often link effort with morality, but they’re not the same thing. 

• Research shows we admire those who work harder, even if it’s unnecessary. 

• Our culture rewards the appearance of effort over actual impact. 

• Constant busyness can lead to burnout, disengagement, and inefficiency. 

• True value comes from purpose, outcomes, and presence; not exhaustion. 

What do we think of Jeff if he chooses to keep working? Well, people see him as less competent (fair enough, it’s not exactly strategic), but also more moral, warm, and trustworthy. We like Jeff. Not because he’s effective, but because he’s willing to grind. 

Why do we reward that? 

It turns out, this association between effort and morality runs deep. It pops up across cultures,  from the US to South Korea to the Hadza hunter-gatherer communities in Tanzania. Regardless of output, we admire the trier. 

Here’s the uncomfortable part: this admiration fuels a culture that equates “being seen to work” with “being good.” 

But What Are We Really Rewarding? 

Shariff points to a problem that’s become all too familiar in the world of knowledge work and leadership we reward the signal, not the substance. 

We reward people who send emails at 2am. We nod approvingly at back-to-back calendars. We raise our eyebrows (and sometimes our standards) when someone takes leave or says no to extra commitments. And we interpret silence, rest or stillness as laziness, disengagement or lack of ambition. 

It’s not just a professional habit. It’s become a cultural norm. 

Here’s what that looks like in practice: 

• People scheduling emails to appear like they’re working late 

• Colleagues staying late “just in case” the boss is watching 

• Leaders measuring effort by hours, not outcomes 

• Staff confusing urgency with importance 

• Professionals burning out quietly — but looking “committed” on the surface 

And it’s not just inefficient. It’s dangerous. It’s no wonder we now have the “Right to Disconnect” legislation. 

As Shariff says, when we prioritise the appearance of effort, we invite perverse incentives,  people filling time instead of creating value, performing busyness instead of delivering outcomes, and pushing themselves to exhaustion in the name of approval. 

Why Do I Work So Hard? – What’s Driving This Need to Be Seen as Busy? 

There’s a term Shariff references — “workism”, coined by journalist Derek Thompson,  the belief that work is not just how we earn a living, but the centre of our identity and the path to personal fulfilment. 

Workism thrives on competition. It’s not enough to be competent or productive. You have to be busier than the next person. More stretched. More scheduled. The early bird. The last one online. 

This can create what Shariff calls “arms races of workism”, where one-upmanship in effort spirals into cultural norms that punish rest and reward performative overwork. 

And before you dismiss this as an issue for tech bros in Silicon Valley, have a look closer to home. In government departments. In regional councils. In small business. In not-for-profits. In parenting. In schools. In our own diaries. 

It’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring our value by how little white space we’ve got on our calendar. 

Let’s hit pause there and look at some signs you might be stuck in the busyness trap: 

Warning Signs You’ve Mistaken Busy for Better and Heading for Burnout 

• You apologise when you take a break, even to yourself 

• You feel guilty when you have a slow day 

• You catch yourself saying “I’ve just been flat out” (even when it’s not true) 

• You add things to your to-do list just to tick them off 

• You feel a sense of worth from how overwhelmed you are 

• You wear exhaustion like a badge (even if you don’t want to) 

What If We Asked Different Questions? 

Instead of asking, “How much did you do today?”, what if we asked: 

• What did you make easier today? 

• What did you stop that wasn’t serving anyone? 

• Who did you listen to, really listen to? 

• What did you finish? 

• What did you learn? 

• What do you actually feel proud of, not just relieved to survive? 

You see, we don’t need to throw out hard work altogether. That’s not the point. Hard work has built communities, companies, movements, and miracles. But we need to get better at recognising when it’s meaningful, and when it’s just noise. 

Shariff reminds us that not all effort is equal. Some of it is purely performative. Some of it is what he calls “effort porn”, the visible suffering that earns social approval, but achieves nothing useful. 

And it’s worth asking, what’s the cost? 

When we reward the show of effort over real value, we: 

• Undervalue deep thinking and reflection 

• Discourage strategic rest and renewal 

• Create toxic comparison cultures 

• Limit creative thinking (which doesn’t always look productive) 

• Punish parents, carers, and people with complex lives 

• Measure leadership by endurance, not effectiveness 

How Do I Stop Being Busy? 

We need to start separating effort from morality and performance from worth. 

In your leadership, your business, or just your Monday morning mindset, ask yourself: 

• Is this work meaningful, or just visible? 

• Are we rewarding outcomes or activity? 

• Who’s quietly making things better, not just looking busy? 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a world filled with well-dressed martyrs, clicking away on empty spreadsheets at midnight. 

Let’s build a world full of people who do work that matters and know when to step away. 

You’re not a better person just because you’re busy. 

You’re not a better leader just because you’re run off your feet. 

You’re not a better friend, parent, mentor or partner because you’ve sacrificed rest, space and presence to have more hours and more hustle. 

Busyness might impress people on the surface. But meaningful contribution, clarity, focus, and presence are what counts. 

We don’t need more noise. We need more people doing less, better. 

Can we all just stop admiring the grind and start shining a light on what truly matters. 

Further reading & references: 

• Azim Shariff’s TED Talk: Does working hard really make you a good person? 

• Derek Thompson, The Atlantic: Workism Is Making Americans Miserable 

• David Graeber, Bullshit Jobs (Simon & Schuster, 2018)