5 Mistakes Leaders Make When Giving Feedback
When I use the term Performance Management it fills most people with a feeling of dread.
Performance management is a critical aspect of leadership, yet many new leaders find performance conversations challenging and uncomfortable.
We want to be liked.
We are afraid of confrontation so providing critical feedback becomes uncomfortable. However, addressing performance issues promptly and effectively is essential for your team to develop and succeed. As a coach, these are the common mistakes I see leaders make during performance conversations. Plus, here’s some strategies to avoid them.
Mistake 1: Delaying the Conversation
Avoiding difficult discussions are not good for the team member or the organisation. Performance issues won’t normally improve without intervention. The sooner you can address concerns to sooner, corrections can be made. It also shows a commitment to the team’s growth.
What to do:
- Address issues promptly: Provide developmental feedback as close to the event as possible.
- Prepare the team member: Inform them about the purpose of the meeting to allow for preparation.
Mistake 2: Inadequate Preparation for Difficult Conversations
Starting a performance conversation without the right amount of preparation can lead to unproductive discussions. Managers should have a clear understanding of the team member’s role, expectations, and specific areas where performance is lacking.
What to do:
- Review expectations: Ensure that job responsibilities and performance standards are well-defined.
- Gather evidence: Collect specific examples of performance issues to discuss.
- Plan the discussion: Outline key points and desired outcomes for the conversation.
Mistake 3: Not Asking Open-Ended Questions
Performance conversations should be a two-way dialogue. Failing to ask open-ended questions can prevent understanding the root causes of performance issues
What to do:
- Encourage conversation: Ask questions like, “How do you feel about your current workload?” to get their perspective
- Listen actively: Pay attention to their responses without judgment. Remember to read between the lines and apply emotional intelligence.
- Identify obstacles: Work out if if issues stem from personal challenges, gaps in their skills, or unclear expectations.
Mistake 4: Focusing on the Person, Not the Behaviour
Critiquing a person’s character rather than their actions is just going to make them defensiveness and strain your relationships. It’s important to focus on specific behaviours and their impact in that moment and long term.
What to do:
- Be objective: Discuss observable behaviours and their consequences.
- Use neutral language: Frame feedback in a way that separates the person from the behaviour. Focus on facts not emotions.
- Collaborate on solutions: Work together to identify steps for improvement.
Mistake 5: Lack of a Clear Improvement Plan
Providing feedback without a roadmap for improvement will leave team members unsure about what to do next or which direction they should take. It will still all mojo. Clear, actionable steps are important for you to support their development. Actions steps should not only apply to them but to you also. You’re an important part of their development too.
What to do:
- Set specific goals: Define clear, measurable objectives for improvement.
- Establish timelines: Agree on deadlines for achieving these goals.
- Schedule follow-ups: Plan regular check-ins to monitor progress and provide ongoing support.
By avoiding these common mistakes, leaders can have more effective performance conversations. This will lead to improved team performance and stronger working relationships.
Do’s:
- Give feedback as soon as possible after an issue arises.
- Prepare by reviewing expectations, evidence, and goals.
- Ask open-ended questions to understand perspective.
- Focus on behaviour and impact, not personality.
- Co-create a clear plan for improvement with milestones and check-ins.
Don’t:
- Don’t delay the conversation hoping things will improve on their own.
- Don’t go in unprepared or without examples.
- Don’t make assumptions — ask and listen.
- Don’t personalise the issue or attack character.
- Don’t end the conversation without a next step or follow-up.
- Don’t expect change without clear support or direction.
- Don’t avoid the hard conversations — it hurts the team more in the long run.
Are you handling performance conversations assertively — or slipping into passive or aggressive habits without realising it?
Take the quiz to discover your communication style and learn how to lead more confident, effective conversations.
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